Today I am sitting by the glass window, at my new favourite coffee place (after The Loft @ Chinatown has closed down) sipping on my usual cuppa Iced Americano & having salad. I am now questioning my decision to have spent 8 bucks on a bowl of leaves (& avocado yas) but I was temporarily motivated by what my grab cab driver had shared with me about healthy living and taking care of our bodies.
So I entered the car happily munching on my bag of chips, & offered some to Mr Henry Leong. He declined my offer, & then told me he is a health consultant & that “we are what we eat” so if we “eat rubbish we become rubbish” HAHA. I was having junk food then la so I became very self-conscious. We had a very pleasant conversation in 15 minutes. Meet Mr Henry:
Can you believe this guy is 63 years old, & welcoming his 5th grandson in a couple of months?! He told me his secret to looking young is really taking care of himself – having enough sleep & eating healthy food at the right time. These are things my parents tell me every single day, & as much as I try to heed their advice I often find myself prioritising work over everything, including myself. This is something I’m slowly realising & working to change, so the conversation with Mr Henry came at the right time. It reminded me to keep with a healthy lifestyle (so I can look 40 even though I am 60), & it reminded me of why I enjoy taking taxis even though it means money not very well spent.
I love talking to people & listening to their stories, & I was surprised at how Mr Leong had influenced me even though we had just met. I guess I’m always taken by surprise at the magic created through human connections, no matter how transient.
I’m writing this entry because I needed a way to unwind & clear my mind. The past couple of days were really hard for me, & I hate that I have been carrying such a negative energy with me. Just a few weeks ago I wrote about how we should live as 20-something, & now I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything I’ve taken up work-wise, & that has taken a toll on me because I found myself being an absolutely horrible person. Especially at home – I was easily triggered by the most minute things. I can actually count, with 2 hands, the number of times I’ve genuinely smiled this week.
I could choose to write about all the bad things that have happened, but all that would do is bring up unhappy memories & being happy is a choice. So this is me trying to start my December right, & finish 2017 with a bang. Braulio’s behind-the-scenes photos from my Malaysia shoot couldn’t have come at a better time. I was browsing through these photos, & I started to remember why I do what I do. I think I kind of forgot because I was so caught up with wanting to get the job done well. I fell into that jadedness that I was talking about in my previous entry, & that sucks. I’m too young to be jaded!
Ending this short entry on a positive note! There’s so much for me to look forward to in the coming month: I have been working with a team of really nice NTU film students for a short film & principal photography begins next week (more after we wrap in 2 weeks); I got a callback for something I auditioned for earlier this month; I will be heading to Langkawi & then Penang for a R E A L break from all this stress. I am going to dance through December, & even though I literally look like a chicken when I’m dancing, I am going to savour every moment as it is & have fun.
I feel so much better, & happier, after writing this even though there was really nothing to write about. On a side note, I celebrate my 22nd birthday next week & for the first time in a while I’m looking forward to spending the day doing whatever it is I’ll be doing. If you’ve known me for a while, you’d know I hate doing anything special on my birthday – I’d really just rather sleep my day away & spend time alone wondering why I am still unaccomplished at 21. Something is different this year, & I’m excited~~
K now I need to head back to doing work before heading to the restaurant. Happy December y’all; make the last month of 2017 count!
P.S. We’re going to be shorthanded in December, so if anyone is looking for a part-time job holler at us!
Five months have passed since I’ve written on my personal blog. The last time I wrote a blog post I was living in a basement in Washington DC on holiday with my then-boyfriend, and preparing to work on my very first film set.
A lot has changed in the last 5 months. Most importantly, this:
i.e. I chopped off my locks & coloured whatever remained. Also horrible horrible tan lines. HAHAH. I kid. About the change. That was not the most important change. A lot of other more important things happened, so I haven’t had the time to sit down & properly write about all of that. It is heartening to know that people still read my blog and care about what I’m up to, and for that I am thankful. I thought I would return to my world of writing with stories of my chasing dreams. Haha. In a nutshell (with pictures because yay who doesn’t love pictures):
1. Finished conquering NYC with my lovely partner-in-crime Seemin
I never thought it would’ve been possible for us to reunite anywhere beyond Asia, let alone in NYC. This happened on a whim & I couldn’t think of a better way to conclude my exchange in NYC. People always find it hard to believe we only met 2 years ago, but finding this woman led me to discover things about myself & showed me a way to be successful doing what you like. @henn.drawn has become something of a household name & I’m so so happy for this one. Next stop: LA…?
this was our 2nd-to-last day at NYC, & yes we love catching the golden hour.
i love it when my fave people come together ❤ Seemz should've been a part of the crew~
2. Got to produce an advanced short film (that was set in WWII – super cool) while I was still in the United States
To be honest, I don’t know what came over me to volunteer myself for such an ambitious project considering I have never ever produced anything in my life. Being a film producer wasn’t even something I had considered doing. I also don’t know what my director Ryo was thinking, having someone with zero experience produce his film, but I’m glad he put his faith in me because this was quite an experience. Things that happened on set were not things classes at Tisch would have prepared me for, & I learnt so much over the course of 10 days.
first set, first crew ❤
when my parting words were “i realised i never took a picture with our lovely cast”
It was 10 days of intermittent doses of torture, & a whole lot of stress, but amidst all the chaos there were some rewarding moments and if I could do it all over again I would. This was my first set, and this will always have a special place in my heart.
3. Took a leave of absence from school to do what I want to do in life
Nothing worth fighting for comes easy – this is something I’ve always lived by, so I figured it would be worthwhile if I took time off of school & dedicated it to do what I want to pursue in life. Coming back from NYC made me realise how much I enjoy filmmaking, & I now know for sure this is something I will continue to do.
4. Got to be a back model for the very first time thanks to Seemz!!!
A tad bit amused I’ve put this in my list of “cool things that have happened within the last 5 months” but I was so honoured to have been Seemz’s human canvas, & so happy this lady’s art continues to inspire so many.
A collaboration between NYX Cosmetics & Henn.Drawn:
Also because I really like this picture:
5. Met up with long-lost friends
Always immensely thankful to catch up with friends who have stuck by me & seen me through my brace face / horrible bangs / bad hairdos / failed fashion – i.e. puberty.
Ahoyset ❤ we have not had so many people from the batch attend a gathering for a very a long time.
my styleXbootcamp fellows; and a temporary farewell for @thehidhir who is now in London doing fashion.
people who got me through horrible jc days.
friends for more than half our lives omfg.
only the bestie would do stupid shit like this with me
6. Spent a month in Malaysia working as a producer & AD for a commercial (& i spent a week before that on a location scout around Malaysia)
Words cannot express how much i’ve learnt and grown over the course of the two months spent on this project. This will also have a special place in my heart because (1) it would be my first AD experience (for people who don’t know film – that’s short for Assistant Director), (2) it was shot in and around Malaysia – i.e. forbidden territory ’cause “not safe”, (3) i worked alongside lovely people for a month, (4) i’ve discovered my hidden language abilities – saya boleh cakap melayu sekarang. (ok i don’t really know if that was phrased right but i’ve realised i can somehow converse a little bit in melayu?! looking back, i think i picked it up from my ahmah, who was fluent in melayu & hokkien)
langkawi is breathtaking.
my fave place is melaka because i was introduced to longkang siham – i.e. best food ever.
weather was not on our side during the scout, but we were blessed with amazing sunny weather during the shoot.
horribly shot but i miss penang
the dream team at Cameron Highlands
Doing this has pushed me so much & so far beyond my boundaries. It was 25 days of non-stop work. As with all kinds of work, it came with stress & problems & mistakes & people & sleepless nights & being yelled at & some tears, but at the end of the day, I truly enjoyed the month of madness. (My instagram feed only displays the fun/good side of filmmaking ok it is a curated gallery of beautiful pictures it does not reflect reality at all.)
I can go on & on about the production, but I’d rather not. Not here at least, so if you wanna hear stories meet with me in real life haha.
7. Worked with amazing talented passionate individuals who inspire me to want to be better at what I wanna do
Filmmaking is a collaborative project that is only possible with an entire kampung. The thing i really miss the most after we wrapped would be the people i got to work with. After all, we saw each other every single day for at least 15 hours a day so…
our last day in melaka at the blue mansion.
our last day of production at Zouk. i did not get the memo about seeing the light.
it’s a wrap on family!
8. Explored new territories around Malaysia – like a whole lot
I never got the time to take pictures of all the locations we went to, but Malaysia is really beautiful. I will be returning to Penang end of the year to attend the cousin’s wedding, & I absolutely cannot wait to go to Jalan Pantai to have coconut ice cream & properly appreciate the crafts/performances/stalls.
Concluding my update with my faaave crew photo:
So #6, #7, & #8 are basically referring to the same production but we just wrapped over a week ago so I am still recovering from the withdrawal. What I’ve learnt over the course of the month is the importance of having grit, of being street smart and needing to work hard. Again, nothing worth fighting for comes easy so hard work is the minimum requirement to meet if we want to achieve anything. Grit is something I never thought about, but I realise being able to power through incredibly challenging times & not give up is super important. I chanced upon a TED Talk video & Angela Duckworth was delivering a speech about grit & how it influences how much a person accomplishes. It became something I thought about a lot & strived to do. Also interesting is this article that talks about the 5 characteristics of grit.
This opportunity has also shown me how important but underrated being street smart is. It is being situationally aware, being able to trust your gut feelings about people/other matters, thereby being able to deal with whatever problems that come your way. Producing on film sets is a lot about solving problems, & i’m so glad my parents in some way pushed me to broaden my horizons (for lack of better words) & gain experiences that would not have been available if I had just stayed in Singapore & just focused on my studies. I’m not saying being book smart is bad or unimportant, but being street smart is something so valuable especially if we want to make it in the working world. So go try something new, & exciting, & have fun beyond school!
Ok, but I am going back to school next year because I have not graduated. Haha. (@mother if you’re reading this, I am reassuring you that I will go back to school eventually & graduate.) So what’s next for me after such an exciting one-month abroad – WORK WORK WORK WERK WERK. I am going for an interview tomorrow, & if all goes well I will be working at a Korean restaurant basically to make money because I can’t fuel my dreams solely with passion. I need money to live. So in the day I work on my film things, & in the evenings/nights I work at the restaurant. Film wise, I have some projects lined up, & I am so excited to keep on doing what I love.